It is now possibly durian season.
I say ‘possibly’ because I have no inkling of fruit seasons, and also because the Durian Fairy keeps depositing them endlessly on our doorstep. Hence, conclusion: It Must Be Durian Season.
Durian season spells out a couple of different things for different people. A good percentage of locals just about pass out waiting for durian season to come every year, so they can gorge themselves stupid on it.
Similarly, a good number of tourists are pumped to try it out, only to turn green and/or begin vomitting uncontrollably once they catch a whiff of it/are brave enough to take a bite.
Locals get rather poleaxed by this sort of reaction although most of us have pretty much clued in that this Most Delicious of Fruits could possibly not be quite so delicious to foreigners.
For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, this is going to be really exciting. I’m going to tell you all about the most dreaded fruit in the Western world.
Behold, the King of Fruits. This one’s already been cracked, but let’s all pretend like it isn’t, so the next sentence bears more dramatic flavour.
Handle with care; it’s spiky and it’s mean and it will NEVER LET YOU EAT IT.
To be honest, it also smells keenly of fermentation. Has a lot of protein though, and kind of makes you nice and sleepy after you’ve eaten it (I hear this is because some durian species contain a teeny-tiny percentage of alcohol .. and yes there’s more than one kind of durian).
Its smell is also the primary reason why durian is banned in hotels, malls, or anywhere enclosed. Because the smell stays.
Just kidding. Though the smell does last days after the actual durian has already been annihilated.
After you have taught it who’s boss with the business end of a cleaver, pull it apart carefully and you will be met by shells of creamy yellow, sickly-sweet fruit with a large seed at its core.
Hoover all the creamy stuff off. Nobody expects you to eat the seed.
… Unless you’re into that.
Then push more shells apart to uncover more hidden fruit. It’s really like a nice puzzle game you can play with the whole family:
“You think there’s more in here?”
“No, look, it’s kinda concave under there, this thing’s empty. Next.”
“Bring out another one.”
“Hey, there’s more on this side!”
You see? Bonding.
I also probably needn’t tell you that durian is an acquired taste. It tastes pretty strong and has a habit of cloying on your tongue hours after you’ve eaten it – awesome for durian-lovers; a disaster for durian-haters.
One usually gets rid of the smell either by eating cucumbers or drinking salt and water out of an empty durian shell. Kind of works, though if you hate durian and have just taken a bite, I reckon the cucumber method is a lot more effective.
I will say this though, once you have gotten used to the smell and taste of durian, you will be looking forward to durian season too.