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A rough example of a woman’s (internalized) battle of wills. Observe:

Step 1: We see something we like.

Balenciaga jacket via JnJ and no, that’s not me. If only.

Step 2: The Reaction

“OH. MY. GAWW. Shut-the-front-door! I LOVE THIS!”

Step 3: The Battle Begins

Heart: Look brain, look! Look at this picture! The collar! The strap detailing! The constrasting leather! The plush density of the shearling! How is it possible for anything to look so decadently perfect in every single way?? *eyelashes start to bat*

Brain: … Look at what, exactly? You can’t even see the entire thing. Start your breathing exercises. Immediately.

Heart: I can see enough of it to know I like it! Anyway, can I have it? I’ll wear this everyday, I promise! I have all my outfits planned out around it already. Look, see here, I’ll wear it like, EVERYWHERE, and I’ll be so warm and snuggly and it goes with EVERYTHING and is so versatile and incredibly pretty and –

Brain: Don’t be stupid. You can’t have it. You don’t have the money, and it’s from 2010. Also, you live in the tropics, you have nowhere to wear it to. HA HAA.

Heart: *desperate* I might travel somewhere cold! I’ll need this! Why can’t I have it? It’s so PRETTY.

Brain: I just told you why you can’t have it! Besides, you have plenty of other things to wear if you’re going somewhere cold.

Heart: *desperation intensifying*… But I really, REALLY want this jacket! Like, REALLY REALLY. And I’m going to love it forever and ever! I won’t even look at another jacket after I’ve bought this one, I SWEAR! This is like the LAST JACKET I’ll ever buy! Cross my heart!

Brain: OMG, you hear that?

Heart: HUH? … Hear what?

Brain: I think it’s .. No, it can’t be .. But it is .. I’d know it anywhere ..

Heart: What? WHAT? WHAT IS IT? :@

Brain: … IT’S THE SOUND OF YOUR LIES HURTLING TOWARDS MY TEMPORAL LOBE!! “Love it forever and ever”? That’s what you said about everything you’ve ever bought! You have enough clothes!! Ugh, why don’t you stop bugging me about shopping for once and start harnessing all this mental energy into doing something constructive.. like saving the planet?

Heart: OKOK relax. What I meant to say is, look at how well-made this is! Obviously, this is something that’s really going to last for years to come. In fact, I’m planning on passing it down to my children, who will pass it on to their children and so on, so everybody can enjoy a beautiful vintage shearling jacket. And it will be all because you let me buy it! I mean, I’m thinking of the bigger picture here. Happiness that transcends generations! Isn’t that nice? Don’t you want your children to have a vintage jacket? Don’t you want your descendants to be happy? Don’t you? Don’t you?

Brain: NO.

Heart: Now you’re just being CRUEL! 😥

Step 4: Battle Breakdown – The Analysis

OK, I’m not completely irrational. I know it’s totally pointless for me to even be thinking about jackets, seeing as how I can barely even get through my days in just a short-sleeved jersey shirt around these parts. But I can’t help it. It’s in my DNA as a female. Women like to shop! In fact, not only do we like to shop, we also attempt to meander as much as possible while we’re shopping. Someone was even kind enough to illustrate my point in this image:

The hunter (male) mentality vs. gatherer (female) mentality.

Now here comes the good part. I’m going to explain to any male readers out there who has ever scoffed at a woman’s shopaholic tendencies; to tell you, that we can’t help being serial shoppers (hope the boy is reading this). Don’t believe me? Ask Google. And if you have a problem with it, take it up with evolutionary science.

To see why women act the way we do, we need to go all the way back to the Stone Age – way back, when our cavemen ancestors had to do all they could to survive off the land, because electrical appliances and canned food hadn’t been invented yet. This meant that men went out gallivanting around in huge parties hunting for big ticket items like meat and fur, whilst the women stayed behind with the young (TYPICAL) and became gatherers. Since then, the gender-specific roles of our primal ancestors have stuck. Men will always have the drive and mentality of hunters (want it, purchase it, bring it home), whilst women are content with gathering and hoarding things for the home (will spend hours looking for one item and return with five other things that she doesn’t need).

You know you can see what it would be like when all the women are out gathering stuff: “Let’s see, what shall I take home with me today? OK I need this rock ‘cos Baby needs a new pillow.. and I need these leaves that I’ll turn into insulation at night ‘cos I don’t want to be cold. Hm. What about this twig? This might be important, I KNOW I’ll need this  for something later. I’ll just grab it, because you never know. Oo, what about this thing? What is this? … I’ll just take it anyway, bet I’ll be sorry if I don’t …”

You can see where I’m going with this.

You can also imagine what her cave-women friends would be like: “Take some extra leaves! It’s always better to have more than less – you don’t want to be lacking tonight, I mean, what if it’s REALLY cold? What about an extra rock? OO. Good call on taking that whatchamacallit, that really looks useful, you’ve got such a good eye for this kind of stuff!”

On that same note, this is probably why women end up bringing huge bags filled to the brim with “in-cases” everywhere we go (because you simply never know when you’re going to need stuff), while men traipse around empty-handed, because they’ve added any of the meager belongings they venture out into the world with into our bags.

Stop complaining. I need this to gather stuff.

Women just seem to need (or want, heh) a lot of things that men don’t. Maybe this speaks to the male gender having a larger sense of self-control, or maybe it’s just that women simply like being prepared, and being prepared means constantly ‘gathering’ stuff (read: SHOPPING) just in case there’s something we might like/need/want.

Having said that, I’d better click on the little x and exit before the heart wins out and I start searching for this jacket’s doppelganger on the internet. And buy the most suitably similar one.

I never seem to learn how to stop perusing the Internet for sartorial fulfilment.

Hence, the internal battles never seem to end.

xo, minty

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