I don’t know what was going through my mind when I agreed to let my hairstylist chop my hard-grown fringe off into a short, sweeping side-part. In hindsight, I was most probably seduced by her siren voice, feeding me honeyed words that assured me I would look amazing.
Like, really, really amazing.
Now, I know you probably can’t really imagine what my hair looks like (probably because I don’t post pictures of my face on here due to reasons pertaining to my privacy), so here’s a before picture I found of Disney actress Brenda Song that looks pretty similar to my old hairstyle.. Except that my fringe was probably a little longer than hers, down past my jawline:
Long fringe, I miss you like a fat kid misses cake..
To be very fair, I did stand up from that black swivel-y chair, rocking a fringe that looked not entirely dissimilar to this (except I’m a brunette and the rest of my hair is still long):
Behold, the glamourous side-swept fringe.
Of course, if I had a hairstylist at my every beck and call, I would look as great as Nicole Richie too. I mean, look at her and that perfectly coiffed, obedient fringe of hers, mocking me from the left side of her forehead without so much as a whisper of delinquency.
I am experiencing a huge jolt of fringe-envy, if it wasn’t already immediately obvious to you.
I remember what living hell is like now. The hours spent in front of the mirror brushing and blow-drying the life out of a bunch of 3inch-long strands of hair, the minutes spent agonizing over taming errant strands of hair, and the days I now spend wishing I could throttle past-Minty.
Because instead of looking nonchalantly amazing (again, hairstylist, you promised!!), my fringe now looks eeriely akin to this, especially in the mornings:
Hairspray doesn’t help in any way, shape, form or manner. My hair is as stubborn as I am.
Now I remember why I decided to grow out my fringe two years ago.
Ugh. If I had a time machine, I’d go back in time and slap myself a couple of times for even considering getting bangs. Then, seeing as how Current Minty will be in the past, I suppose I would also tell myself that yes, I really want that R.Minkoff bag, and that I really don’t need to think about it before deciding two days later that I totally
need want it, only to return to the site and find out that it has been COMPLETELY SOLD OUT – AGGGGIEEEEGGGHGGHGHGHGGRRRHRH…..
I can’t wait for my fringe to grow back out to where I no longer need to pin it down with an army of clips and pins. On that note: may this post be a lingering reminder to myself NOT TO CUT BANGS, EVER.
Future Minty, if you are ever reading this: DON’T. DO IT. THIS MEANS YOU.